Big Pink Stud

Last time, Sheogorath cheated death, the birthday curse nabbed Serge and he died for realzies, and both Harley Quinn and Ditto grew older, leading me to lament my over-saturation of this blog with cake-shots. Today, have I learned my lesson?

Evidently not.

Harley Quinn: “It’s gonna be the best birthday ever! My real daddy even decided to come and celebrate with me!”

Mortimer: “For the love of Will Wright, WHY am I still invited to these things?!”

Mortimer: “Honestly, if I wasn’t being paid for this…something interesting better happen, Gatekeeper!”

Gatekeeper: (offscreen) “Oh just shut up and clap for your kid, you prick.”

Harley Quinn: “Oh no, now we’re all gonna die like Grandpa!”

Mortimer: “Now this is interesting.”

Sheogorath: “Oh boy, birthday fire!!”

Mortimer: “It’s no fun if you enjoy it.”

Gatekeeper: “Is this thing even working?! Where the hell is Quincy when you need him, at least he can’t die…MOM, you have the brave trait, move your butt!”

Sheogorath: “But I like birthday fire. *happy thought-bubble*”

Gatekeeper: “DAMMIT WOMAN PUT IT OUT.”

Luckily three out of five Personalitys have the brave trait at this point, so fires are nothing. I barely have to lift a finger.

Firefighter: “Oh, gosh, you put that fire out yourself. Guess my services aren’t needed…”

Firefighter: “So don’t mind if I join the PARTAY!”

Quincy: “Considering we’re both pretty sure he had something to do with that birthday cake exploding, WHY are we still letting him hang around our house?”

Gatekeeper: “Just ignore him, he feeds on negative attention.”

Mortimer: “This birthday cake is delicious.” >:)

Harley Quinn: “Alas, my eyeballs burned away in the fire!”

AAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Harley Quinn: “My eyes are closed, they could still be gone for all you know.”

They’re not, though. That was just my game being briefly nightmarish.

Here’s teenage Harley Quinn, with her new Loner trait. Which brings it to Vegetarian, Loves the Outdoors, Loner, Angler so far. Pretty solid set, if you ask me.

Like her father before her, Sheogorath retires in the garden. No more Mad Scientist Sheo. She has to work finishing the Gardening challenges, and maybe (since she has so much extra time now) even try for the Athletic challenges. We’ll see.

Sheogorath: “And BAM. Just when you thought I was running out of tricks…”

Sheogorath: “…I turn the awesome up to eleven. BAHAHAHA!”

Her first trip on The Beast takes her to, where else, the bar. Sheo will never retire from being a boss.

Quincy: “Hey everyone, hope you’re not sick of cake, ’cause it’s my little girl’s birthday!”

Everyone: “UUUGGGGH.”

Ditto: “Me and my new brave trait want to visit a graveyard!”

Ditto: “Ah, the children of the night make such beautiful music. And so do all my dead relatives!”

After rolling that little gem of a first want, she coughed up a LTW suggestion right away; Become the Emperor of Evil.

Of course I took it, I jumped on that like it was made of diamonds

Quincy: “Um, there’s no one driving the cop car. I’m a little concerned.”

Quincy was briefly in the criminal career, because why the hell not, but when this happened three times in a row I called it quits before he reached level five. He clearly is just not cut from a ‘bad guy’ cloth, despite his heritage.

I do hate to delay points though. *twitches*

He moved to the cop career after this, because the police force totally lets in convicted criminals.

Jolene: “Hey, you haven’t forgotten about me have you?”

Jolene Lipscomb everybody! The OTHER bastard daughter of Mortimer. Her mom is still our main paparazzi, which is a little awkward.

She closely resembles her father, which is interesting. The two ghost children look exactly like their ghost-fathers, but the human child looks like her human mother. Pretty nifty.

Harley Quinn: “Little sis, you gotta tell me. Does…does our father love you more because you look like him?”

Jolene: “What, are you joking? Mortimer lost interest in me when Mom refused to name me ‘Cassandra.’ He doesn’t even live with us, he’d rather stay in that crappy shack.”

/True Story

Ditto: “So you see, since I was BORN dead, it only makes sense that I’d be a restless and vengeful spirit.”

Gatekeeper: “I guess, but don’t wreak too much havoc, OK? I’d hate to have to vacuum up my own daughter.”

Ditto: “Mmm. Maybe I should wait ’til after you’re dead to take over…”

Sheogorath: “‘Today you will recognize the damage your alienating behaviour has done to someone close to you, possibly a spouse or a child, and finally realize that other people don’t exist solely as pawns for your amusement.

….’”

Sheogorath: “BAHAHAHAHAHA AS IF!”

Gatekeeper: “Our lives are going so fast now, I feel like we have no time for each other any more. It’s nice to have a few spare moments together.”

Quincy: “I agree. But, er, Gatekeeper…?”

Quincy: “Do we really have to have our spare moment next to a giant pile of dirty laundry? In our…backyard?”

Gatekeeper: “I really need to fire that maid.”

Sheogorath: “Oh, how wonderful! The silly little mortals have to do homework while I can play video games! Gods can do whatever they like, you know.“

Harley Quinn: “Grandma, that isn’t helpful.”

Harley Quinn: “Ditto, what’s the name of that one picture? The one with the lady who’s kind of smiling but not really?”

Ditto: “The Mona Lisa, you twit. It’s only the most ubiquitous painting of all time.”

Harley Quinn: “‘Ubiquitous?’”

Ditto: “And done! Now me and Grandma are going to go play video games without you. Aren’t we Grandma?”

Sheogorath: “Yes.”

Harley Quinn: “But what does ubiquitous mean?”

Mackenzie: “Oh Kirk, my cousin, my love! My non-beating-heart breaks for you!”

Kirk died of old age, but Mackenzie is still a young adult. Guess that means she’ll be around for awhile. SWEET.

In case you haven’t noticed from the people on our lot, it’s a birthday. Quincy’s birthday, to be precise.

Mortimer: “What the hell were you thinking, marrying my brother?! Personality women don’t swing far with their rebounds, is that it?!”

Gatekeeper: “It was not a rebound, you ass. Take your jealousy to the tabs, if you’re not afraid of knocking one of them up again.”

Quincy: (offscreen) “Happy birthday to me…?”

You may notice that Green-Stripe is sitting on a haunted couch. But Green-Stripe doesn’t care.

Green-Stripe only cares what’s for dinner.

That or my town is entirely too used to this sort of thing.

Mortimer: “Oh no, they’re BOTH here.”

Jolene just became a teenager, and has awesome flowing long hair like a ghost should.

Quincy: “My…my brother is cheering for me?”

I think he just wants to dissuade his daughters from speaking with him.

Green-Stripe: “*Choke* I knew I shouldn’t have come to a Personality birthday!”

You should have taken our ghosts more seriously.

Ditto: “Ew, gross. Somebody get a dust-pan.”

Unlike all the people who die of old age at our parties, THIS probably counts as ‘death by neglect.’ Even though I can’t set out blood for him and no one was stopping him from getting some from the fridge. But I take the point loss with dignity.

*twiiiitch*

Green-Stripe: “Holy Hell, I’m OK with dying if I get to look like this for eternity!”

Quincy: “And here I am PINK for all time. Some ghosts get all the luck.”

Mackenzie: “Now that he mentions it, I AM pretty hungry…”

Gatekeeper: “That’s it, party’s over. I’m not breaking out the dustpan twice.”

Gatekeeper: “I just want you to know, in spite of your oldness and your saggyness and your general Quincyness, I still love you.”

Quincy: “Cool. So guess who just joined the firefighter career?”

Gatekeeper: “What? No way!”

Quincy: “Uh, way!”

Gatekeeper: “Take me now, you big pink stud!”

Quincy: “‘Til next time, my friends.”

(Current Score: 58)