…

“BAHAHAHAHAHA AS IF!”

Before that happened, this happened:

When Sheogorath returned to Egypt, she gained a broken-heart moodlet. The reason;  Serge’s death, all these years later.

This was to be her last adventure.

“Oh Champion…no mortal ever squealed in pain like you did.”

“Wait, Celina the XIII? How in the world are you still alive?! And YOUNG?”

“Ze French ‘ave zere ways.”

“Didn’t your SON die of OLD AGE? Like, years ago?”

“Shush! My ‘orrid daughter-een-law iz right over zere, and I would prefer not be seen!”

“Actually I think she’s just leaving. In a…sports car?”

“Doo dee doo, tra la laa…

…Fiddlesticks, got the girl’s car stuck already. OH WELL.”

“I’m sure she won’t miss it.”

“Quincy, did you put my car in your inventory this morning?”

“No, sweetums. I would never borrow your car without permission.”

“Huh. Wait, have you seen my mother?”

“Um…no?”

“…F*@#.”

“I’m on a quest, you see. A quest for treasure of LEGENDARY PROPORTIONS! But, I don’t know what it is yet. The treasure I mean. So would you kindly tell me where you people leave your ancient doodads lying around?”

“Gosh, I don’t know where you’d find something like that. Maybe check the adventure board?”

“No. It just wants me to cook shawarma.”

Undeterred, she went from store…

…to store, asking her question.

“MALACATH’S WARTY BUTT-CHEEK. The game sure doesn’t generate ‘em like they used to!”

“WAT.”

Until finally, she found a guide.

“If you’re going to find treasure anywhere, it’d be here, Mrs. Personality. It’s dangerous, though. Too dangerous for most tourists.”

“Right right, danger. I am duly apprehensive. But tell me, should I find treasure, is it likely to be LEGENDARY?”

“…I should say so, Mrs. Personality!”

“‘Forfeit your life all ye who enter here.’ Sounds promising!”

“Oh fffff. Gold. ‘Forfeit your life’ my ass! I wouldn’t forfeit my groceries for this shit. BOOOORING.”

“MORE money. YAWNFEST! YAWNSTOCK EVEN! This ruin makes me happies wilt.”

“Oh come now, that’s just preposterous!

…why would a bar of gold just be lying there like that?! I’m outta here!”

“If you don’t tell me where to find some LEGENDARY treasure, I will be VERY DISAPPOINTED. And I so very hate to be disappointed.”

“Durrr, I dunno lady, I just fix the plumbing around here.”

“WRONG ANSWER!” *snatches wrench, tosses it*

*CLUNK*

“I do so love a good brain pie. AND it gives me an idea!”

“Zzzzmyideaisthebestidea”

“The secret passageway in my hotel-room floor! HAH! Bet they didn’t think I’d notice that!”

“Traps! Riddles! Positively riddled with traps and riddles! Ohoho, this is a good sign!”

“Wait, scratch that. Just some secret underground anti-government base. Interesting, I suppose.

But not LEGENDARY. It needs to be legendary.”

“There must be something legendary out here! I can feel it in my bones!”

“Well doesn’t that look dull. Bunch of guys, sitting around. I guess it will have to do.”

~GeEeEEeeeeEEEeeeeet oOOOuuuUT~

“Now THAT’S more like it!”

~No seriously, GeEeEEeeeeEEEeeeeet oOOOuuuUT~

*fire-splosion*

“Well.

That was just being a poor sport.”

“Oh, you’re thinking you’re gonna block my path, eh? Well just try it! I didn’t scour China looking for this smashy thing for nothing!”

*KABLAM*

~DaaAaaaaMn IIiiiit~

“AHA! Dead people! AND IN BULK! The surest sign of good treasure! Just try getting rid of me now, ominous voice!”

~Whaaat isss wrooOooOng with YoooUu~

“And I bet THIS opens a secret passageway!”

“…Then again, maybe not.”

“A winding, multicoloured path. I see…”

“…so I solve the riddles to find out which path to follow, purple or red. Pick the wrong path, and I go up in smoke! AHAHAHA! How delightful.”

“What in the world are you calling for, girl?! I’m a little busy here!!…No, I haven’t seen your car…Yes, I’m sure. Not since I ditched it in the desert…WHY ARE WE SHOUTING?”

~YOU HAVE ENTERED MY LAIR. THIS WAS YOUR FINAL MISTAKE~

“I gotta say, the pyrotechnics? Top notch. The history books really undersell you ancient Egyptians.”

*ignores incoming dozens of angry texts from Gatekeeper*

“So I can’t help but notice that for a ‘lair,’ there is a distinct lack of treasure.”

~Your prize is not here, fool! There is only ME! The Pharaoh and Sovereign of all Egypt, risen to defend his desecrated grave!~

“Ah, well in that case, I’ll look elsewhere. Ta-ta.”

~What…don’t you walk away from me! I’m not finished with you yet!~

“Then could you just mark where the treasure is on this map? It would save me a lot of time. Refusing is only delaying the inevitable.”

~Oh of all the arrogant…security! Someone get this glorified burglar out of my tomb!~

~You’ve done quite enough nosing around today, old lady. Time you learned some respect for your elders!~

“Aha. You’re thinking you’re going to fight me.”

“YOU REALLY SHOULDN’T HAVE THOUGHT THAT.”

~What in the name of Ra?! You fight like a madwoman…~

“Maxed martial arts and athletics, bitch. And that’s Mad GOD, if you please.”

“Yeah, an ass-whupping by me can have that effect.”

“The Eyes of Horus? That is suitably LEGENDARY!

But what do they…?”

“Oh I see.”

“And with that…”

“…I take my leave. Ciao, Mummies!”

*various sounds of groaning*

“Adventuring is like woohoo. If you’ve done it right, you should be sweaty and satisfied by the end.

And your pockets should be filled with their stolen valuables.”

“Well that was fun. Time to go home!

…460 messages in my inbox?”

“Do I even want to ask what all this is?”

“Just souvenirs, Mortal Grandma. But I’m not…I’m not feeling quite myself. I thought I’d be…”

“Isn’t it illegal to take pieces of another cultures history as ‘souvenirs’?”

“You’re right Grandma, something is still missing! But what??”

“I have the right Eye of Horus…”

“…and the left. Smashy thing, sarcophagi, well…NOPE, guess I have everything! False alarm!”

“‘You will finally show love and affection for someone who’s always craved it blah blah blah.’ Who keeps putting these fortunes in here?”

“Champion! There you are! I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”

“I ‘ave been dead, mon amour.”

“Oh. Could you cut it out?”

“Non, I do not zink so. It eez somewhat of a permanent zing.”

“Hm. I guess I’d better die then.”

“Oh, do not zay zat! What about Gatekeeper?”

“Who, the girl? The girl won’t miss me.”

“…But I’m always up for one last adventure.”

(Current Score: 60)

…

..

.

We’re officially on Gen 5.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAH! *sound of champagne popping* Oh wait I don’t drink. *hands fizzing bottle over to readers*

One of my resolutions this year was to finish this legacy, because my gawd. So I’ll try to make a point of that, yes?

ADMINISTRATIVE NOTES:

So if you’ve ever ventured over to my Personality download page you might have noticed that the site pulled down some of my sims. Which…uh? I don’t think I violated any rules. There was no CC or meshes on them, they were just regular sims. Strange.

Unless they were objecting to the use of the phrase ‘Cult of Personality’ for some sort of copyright reason, which is silly. The phrase existed before Living Colour made a song out of it, you guys.

In any case, they’ll be put back up soon, and if they get taken down again, I’ll switch to some other file-sharing site.

BUT ANYWAY

So this is Harley Quinn as a young adult. The hair and clothes I gave her should let you know that from this point on, Generations is installed! Now we’re only six months behind every other simmer ever! *cries*

Harley Quinn: “Ditto, please stop skilling drums. You are NOT doing the drums challenges and you know it.”

Ditto: “Fuck you I won’t do what you tell me.”

Harley Quinn: “Oh hey, I just got a popup saying my bio-dad is about to die. I should prolly go deal with that.”

Ditto: “L8az”

Harley Quinn: “This is it, I know it! Mortimer is finally going to accept me. This is the day!”

Harley Quinn: “Oh gosh, he’s right in there. Stay cool Quinn. Like Grandma. What would Grandma do?”

Sheogorath: “I would probably nail a puppy to the door.”

YOU ARE NOT IN THIS PICTURE.

( I would like to point out that the last time she was on this lot was when she was a baby, being rejected)

Mortimer: “Barley Gin!”

Harley Quinn: “Ok, that could be a cute nickname I guess.”

Mortimer: “Right, whatever. Welcome to my chapeau! You know, I’ve always wanted to know you better, but your mother cut me out of your life so brutally…”

Harley Quinn: ‘…Rubbish.’

Harley Quinn: “Thanks so much for finally having me over, Mor…uh, Dad. I really think we need to make up for lost time.”

Mortimer: “Oh absolutely darling, I couldn’t agree more!”

Mortimer: “Now get out. You are behaving inappropriately.”

WHAT. WHAT.

Mortimer: *smirk*

Gatekeeper: “At last! The Young Again potion!”

No good. Poison is what we need.

Gatekeeper: “Hear me out. If we overdose him on this, we could de-age him right out of existence!”

Do you know how many doses that would take? He’s older than your ancient mother. She was a FETUS when he was old and banging YOUR GRANDMA.

Readers. Think about that for a second and look at this picture. And be horrified.

Sheogorath: “Le herp derp I have a cane. Generations is awesome.”

Sheogorath: “Ditto, stop skilling drums. You’re not getting the family any points that way.”

Ditto: “FUCK YOU I won’t do what you tell me.”

Sheogorath: “Hmph, fine. I won’t bother you anymore. I’m late for tea with Pelagius the Mad anyway.“

Ditto: “Whatevs.”

Harley Quinn: “Nooo Grandma, please stay with us! We love you!”

Sheogorath: “What? No. Skyrim is out, girl. I got places to be. Tea parties to throw! Adventurers to traumatize. It’s been a laugh, though. So thanks.”

Grim: “WHAT– THIS TREE IS MADE OF MONEY. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE.”

.:Obituary:.

Sheogorath Personality died suddenly of a lingering case of awesomeness, which she had lived with for many years. Truly inspirational. She moves on to games that have more dragons, where the M rating will allow her to live her insanity to it’s full potential. She leaves behind a daughter and two grandchildren.

As a show of support, the town allowed the family to ‘win’ a free vacation that very same night. Or that’s how I’m interpreting it.

Gatekeeper: “Honey, do you think it’s wise to leave Ditto alone when her grandmother just died in front of her?”

Quincy: “Uh, probably not.”

Gatekeeper: “Well as long as we agree. Let’s go!”

Jolene: “I can’t believe you! Out of your parent’s sight for one minute, and you throw a teen party! Which is a crime by definition in Sims world!”

Ditto: “Yeah, don’t act like you’re not getting a happy from it.”

Jolene: “ONLY BECAUSE OF THE PROGRAMMING, I assure you.”

Ditto: “OH GAWD MY MENTOR IS DEAD and woah, I totally just realized this is an all-girls, all-supernatural party.”

VampTeen: “Girl, the supernatural OWN this town! Muggles can suck it, amiright?”

Ditto: “May as well just rename the place Sunnydale, really.”

Cop: “Hmph, a teen party. Delinquent scum. Thanks for the story, Paparazzi.”

Paparazzi: “It’s what I live for!”

Cop: “And smoking pot on top of everything else! What have you got to say for yourself?”

Ditto: “Excuse me Professor Oppression, but that’s just incense.”

Cop: “HAH! As if I don’t know what ‘incense’ means! You think I was born yesterday, kid?”

Angel: *photobombs*

VampTeen: “The popo! I can’t do another nickel! You’s on your own, Ditto! Great party though.”

Cop: “Just tell me where you’re hiding all the rainbow lipstick and I’ll go easy on you.”

Ditto: “When I’m the Emperor of Evil, your organization will burn.“

Quincy: “Well um, I guess the important thing is that we agreed this would happen, right?”

Gatekeeper: “Sweety, my extra-decadent Tahiti vacation was just abruptly ended. I am in no mood to be a reasonable parent.”

….

Gatekeeper: “Also, where the hell did we leave Harley?”

Ditto: “I’m sorry, Mother. I guess I was just so messed up over Grandma’s death that I made a mistake. It will probably happen again.”

Gatekeeper: “I understand, but I’m still very disappointed. My daughter, using drugs!”

Ditto: “Actually there were no drugs, the cop was just culturally ignorant.”

Gatekeeper: “Oh. Well, booze then.”

Ditto: “Nadda on the booze.”

Gatekeeper: “Well then boys, surely? Senior Boys? Freshman boys?”

Ditto: “Nope. Just me and two girlfriends.”

Gatekeeper: “Well then what the hell they bust you for?! Cheesus Wright! Someone get me a damn drink.”

That night I discovered that Culta has taught herself to snake charm, because she is a boss. Half her skills were acquired post-mortem, I swear.

Harley Quinn: “How could you be so irresponsible?! Thanks to you, I got left in an airport all night in French Polynesia! Do you know how many scary bearded men sleep in airports, Ditto?!”

Ditto: “But I was just grieving Grandma…the party eased the pain of losing her.”

Harley Quinn: >:I

Ditto: “…and the last thing she ever said to me (sniff) was that she would teach me how to drive your sports car…”

Gatekeeper: “Oh hell.”

Gatekeeper: “One scratch, Ditto, and I will find a way to flay your skinless ass.”

Ditto: “My foot keeps going through the brake. >:I”

Gatekeeper: “Stop being so slow! No one takes the speed limit so seriously! Now HIT THAT GAS PEDAL.”

Ditto: “My foot keeps going through that, too!”

Gatekeeper: “Look, I know somewhere in that mean little heart of yours you actually are more upset about Grandma than anyone. You two were practically peas in a pod.  Plus the free vacation wiped away all our negative moodlets. So I’m letting you off the hook. Go in town, do something fun.”

Ditto: “Really?”

Gatekeeper: “Yeah, really. But I’m taking back my car. You can walk.”

Ditto: “Hmm, something fun… *rolls mood-swing want* Vandalizing school property sounds fun!”

*sound of footsteps*

*sound of glass breaking*

*sounds of ribbits*

*sound of screams*

*sound of sirens*

Ditto: “Not much chance that you’re just a stripper cop, is there?”

Cop: “Well, not any more.”

And that’s it for today!

(Current Score: 60)

So I would like larger pictures for this blog. Not huge, just bigger, big enough for everyone to see all the details more easily. I currently post them at ‘full size,’ but I think they don’t fit the theme I’m using and so get formatted smaller. Since most simmers are by definition awesome tech-people (they have to be to put up with this glitchy-ass series), I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions? Thanks.

Anyway, you don’t care about my computer-fail. You care about my simming fail.

Right where we left off.

Last time, Quincy got old while inching towards his LTW, not helped by the fact that I had to drop him out of criminal career, due to fail. Green-Stripe died of vampire-starvation at a birthday party, due to fail, and lost us a point. It was sort of a counter-productive chapter.

But at least Gatekeeper got laid.

Quincy goes to his first day as a fireman, which is apparently a popular hobby for Sunset’s retirees.

Quincy: “Gosh Stacy, you don’t think I’ll be discriminated against because I’m dead, do you?”

Stacy: “Oh no, you have nothing like that to worry about! This station has equal opportunities for the living, dead, and everything in between! You should know our team is ninety percent vampire!”

Quincy: “Um, I think this town is ninety percent vampire.”

Quincy: “How does a bathroom catch fire anyway?!”

A bit about Quincy. He came with a bit of guitar skill, but not much else, and he was already an adult when he died (making him older than Gatekeeper on a few levels, but whatever, love is ageless blah blah). This means picking skill challenges for him was…tedious, to say the least.

I eventually decided on the charisma and athletic challenges for him. Charisma because of his friendly trait (and because I generally find the charisma challenges pretty easy –not paint easy, but easy enough), and because a lot of the careers I had lined up for him involved athletics. It seems like the guitar challenges would have been the obvious choice, but they take so long, and rely too much on luck for the amount of time he has left in his un-life.

So yeah, that’s what he’s up to, in case you were wondering. Even if you weren’t, now you know, and that’s KNOWLEDGE.

Ditto: “I wish for…a kitten.”

Harley Quinn: “Yay, kitten!”

Ditto: “A fluffy white kitten, to grow into a fluffy white cat, which I will keep on my lap and pet during my evil meetings. When I rule the world.”

Harley Quinn: “Yay, dictatorship!”

Fat chance if Pets isn’t installed yet in these pictures. Generations isn’t even installed in these pictures and I’m SO ASHAMED.

Harley Quinn: “Yay, non-descript pinkness!”

Ditto’s new trait is Loves the Outdoors, which is now something both girls share. Bringing her personality to Mean-Spirited, Brave, Couch Potato, and Outdoorsy. Erm…how do those last two work?

Ditto: “Picnics, duh.”

The nice thing about ghosts is it doesn’t really matter what they wear, only the cut has any visual significance. Meaning Ditto gets to keep this ensemble she span into herself.

The less-nice thing about ghosts is that you can’t really see them, but that’s why we have the sim bin!

First, Quincy!

I’m showing you his adult-face, because no one cares about elders. Simmers are kind of ageist that way.

Quincy had very deep purple-blue eyes, flaming red hair, and a pale complexion. Honestly, he looks more like Gunther and Cornelia than Mortimer ever did. Mortimer is a freak of genetics.

Now mix a little Quincy with Gatekeeper, and you get…

Ditto!

She’s pretty in an unusual sort of way. She got Gatekeeper’s black hair, the angry eyebrows are WAY present, and her eyes are a very noticeable shade of purple. I’m not gonna lie, I kind of died of happiness when I saw that. Natural purple eyes! Natural! Purple! EYES!

Obviously, her genetics are a lot more interesting than her sister’s, who’s just a different coloured version of Gatekeeper, near as I can tell. But the Personality clan has never been about genetics; we don’t care how ugly or pretty you are, if you have interesting traits.

Which brings us to the question of heirship.

This is what I find Harley Quinn doing most times I let her off her leash. She’s sort of quiet and reserved, a girl of simple tastes. Gardening, fishing, and being left alone. Out of context, that doesn’t sound very interesting. But in contrast to every OTHER Personality woman so far? She sticks out like a sore thumb, and that makes her interesting to me.

In short, we’ve yet to have a shy girl in this Legacy. Point to Harley Quinn. But on the other hand…

Ditto is, in many ways, what we’ve seen before in the Personality clan. Confident. Abrasive. The trouble is I’m not sure that’s a point against her; I mean, Culta, Cheez and Sheo were like that, and I had tons of fun with them! Plus, with a shiny un-tested trait like Mean-Spirited and a crazy LTW to boot, she has all kinds of personality potential. Point to Ditto.

This would have been great to decide with a vote. But I was weak. I wanted to keep playing, but I needed an heir chosen to do so. Except I thought they were both great candidates for heir.

So that’s why Generation Five is a double-heirship.

Here’s how this is going go down.

I’m not going to try and maintain two separate lines of Personalitys becoming ever-distant cousins. It’s OK near the end of a Legacy, but it would probably be disastrous in the middle. Where would you even put all those elders?

No –Harley Quinn, Ditto, and their respective future spouses will be considered ONE parental unit. Their children, though they will be cousins, will be treated as siblings, and an heir will be chosen among them as normal. Which will inevitably mean that one of these girl’s lines isn’t actually going to go on, despite being heir. To that I say…tough cookies, I play how I want!

Now, let’s all be prepared for the approaching over-crowded house. I make the best decisions!

My gosh, over 1000 words and only twelve pictures in. This is going to be a long chapter.

Stacy: “Quincy! Valerie the Vampire’s house is on fire, and you must save them!”

Quincy: “But doesn’t her son, like, work here?”

Stacy: “It’s his day off, man! You can’t expect him to save his mother on his day off!”

Quincy: “Oh, OK. Quincy to the rescue!”

*drifts over to the firetruck*

Quincy: “If only I could float faster! This doesn’t communicate the gravity of the situation at all!”

Various Vampires: *burn in sunlight* “THERE’S NO ESCAPE.”

Valerie’s Son: “OH GAWD. THE HUMANITY. WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE MY DAY OFF.”

Quincy: “Wait…he lives with his mother and…oh nevermind.”

Valerie the Vampire: “I hope I don’t lose my collection of ironic mummy t-shirts!”

That’s why her and Gatekeeper get along so well. They’re both hipsters.

Quincy doesn’t need safety equipment, being dead and all, but this still looks really silly. At least put some shoes on, man.

Quincy: “Yeah, you think you can take me, you just, um, bring it!”

Valerie the Vampire: “Oh dear, Gatekeeper’s husband is hollering at my furniture. Why does everyone hire that man?”

Impressive pedigree?

Oh yeah, I kind of sent you jogging here, didn’t I?

Sheogorath: “Many hours ago, yes. The fish have been biting splendidly. Elsewise I might be displeased with you.”

Quincy: “Hey, when did Susannah Lipscomb get old?”

Gatekeeper: “Perhaps more importantly, dear, who let her in the house?“

Susannah: “It’s 12 am. Do you know where your Ditto is?”

Ditto: “Aw, crap.”

Gatekeeper: “You just better consider yourself damned lucky Generations isn’t installed yet Ditto, or you would be grounded with a capital GEE, you hear me?!”

Ditto: “Oh whatever, Mom. When I become the Emperor of Evil, curfews are the first thing that’s going to go.”

Gatekeeper: “Oh yeah?! Then how will you prevent night-cloaked meetings of your uprisers, young lady?!”

Ditto: “DAMN IT.”

Gatekeeper: “Guess what?”

Quincy: “Can I guess later? I’m hungry.”

Gatekeeper: “This is my 75th dish made, meaning I finished all the cooking challenges, meaning POINT. Damn but I’m awesome.”

Quincy: “You sure are honey. Are you going to eat that?”

Gatekeeper is rewarded with her very own sports car…

…but obviously she prefers to steal her mom’s bike.

Gatekeeper: “Driving your own vehicle is so mainstream.”

Vampire: “Let me get this straight. Yesterday, we gave you a promotion. Today, you’re telling me you quit?”

Quincy: “Well, yeah. I reached level five, and I think I’d like to be a pro-athlete now. In the, er, geriatric league.”

Vampire: “I don’t understand. You seemed so happy here! You were friends with everyone!”

Quincy: “Yeah, um, for my charisma skill, right? That’s kind of how this legacy thing rolls. Come see one of my games sometime, I’m the QB.”

Harley Quinn: “Grandma, don’t! You know what the doctor said last time you swallowed something you found on the ground!”

Sheogorath: “Well I was a doctor once, and I say it’s FANTASTIC.”

Sheogorath: “You call that running, mortal?! I call that DRAGGING YOUR FLESHY HUMAN FEET. Faster, or I’ll give you a reason to run!”

Sheogorath: “WEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAK!” *punches through handlebar*

Harley Quinn: “Dad, I’m glad you don’t hold us to rigid standards like Grandma does.”

Quincy: “Oh, sweety. Grandma isn’t organized enough for standards.”

Gatekeeper: “Look, if you guys want to eat, move your asses.”

Ditto: “But MOM, me and Dad are bonding!”

Quincy: “And skilling!”

Quincy is best friends with both girls. Because they were fodder for the Charisma Challenges.

Strangely enough, Quincy and Gatekeeper seem to lose relationship very quickly. I keep finding their bar dwindling down to a tiny green stub, so every so often they need to bring the romance back (which is what was happening last chapter next to the laundry pile. And the sexy times at the end).

It’s sad that they struggle a little I suppose, but Gatekeeper doesn’t seem very good at the whole relationship thing in general.

Ah well. As long as they get their quality time, I think they’ll be fine.

Also I am totally not just bothering because I’m skilling his charisma SHHH

Anyway, time for more stupid simming tips from a terrible simmer!

Todays Tip is: Tents, I guess!

If you have the Noble Composure Handicap like I do, sims getting overtired at work is a constant concern. Y’know how they stay up late sometimes, trying to get in that last skill point before bed. But in most workplaces, you can actually put a tent right outside and let them get some sleep before they come home, preventing them from collapsing on your doorstep and losing the handicap.

Quincy here has forced me to use this trick several times.

Another tip is, instead of waiting around for your garden to need new plants for the planter challenge, just make a separate temporary garden of 19 different plants. That way you’ll always know exactly how close you are to finishing that challenge.

Sheogorath does this, and completes the gardening challenges, earning us a POINT.

Mortimer: “Helloooo everybody.”

And we all know there’s only one thing we invite Mortimer over for.

Harley Quinn became a young adult, and rolled her final trait: good sense of humour. Ah, well. They can’t all be winners.

Mortimer: “This is all your fault, Gatekeeper! If I’d raised our daughter she’d have rolled an interesting trait, like Nurturing, or Dog Lover!”

Gatekeeper: “Don’t be stupid, those traits aren’t even in this game yet! FURTHERMORE, when you had the chance to raise her you didn’t want to!”

Mortimer: “OH, so now I’M the one to blame for you deciding to run off with my idiot brother…”

Gatekeeper: “WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING? THIS IS ABOUT YOU NEVER THINKING HARLEY QUINN IS GOOD ENOUGH!”

Mortimer: “WELL SHE ISN’T!”

Quincy: “La la la, nothing’s happening, la la la.”

Gatekeeper: “THAT’S IT!”

Mortimer: “OW, Gatekeeper, this hurts! I demand you stop this at once!”

Gatekeeper: “Bitch you don’t even KNOW how long I’ve been waiting to do this.”

Gatekeeper: “It’s one thing to badmouth me. It’s even totally acceptable to badmouth my mom. But you better think twice ‘fore you talk shit about my husband and daughters, Mortimer.”

Susannah: “*quietly slipping out of the frame* You go girlfriend.”

Mortimer: “This is not the proper way to treat a Goth.”

I dunno, Bella always seems to like it rough.

Mortimer: “Carol Personality, you did this to me. Used me, betrayed me, took me away from everything I knew and loved. And for what? Why did you do this to me? Why?!”

Carol: “Doesn’t matter had sex.”

And that’s all for today! See you next time, when Generation Five starts proper!

(Current Score: 60)

Evidently not.

Harley Quinn: “It’s gonna be the best birthday ever! My real daddy even decided to come and celebrate with me!”

Mortimer: “For the love of Will Wright, WHY am I still invited to these things?!”

Mortimer: “Honestly, if I wasn’t being paid for this…something interesting better happen, Gatekeeper!”

Gatekeeper: (offscreen) “Oh just shut up and clap for your kid, you prick.”

Harley Quinn: “Oh no, now we’re all gonna die like Grandpa!”

Mortimer: “Now this is interesting.”

Sheogorath: “Oh boy, birthday fire!!”

Mortimer: “It’s no fun if you enjoy it.”

Gatekeeper: “Is this thing even working?! Where the hell is Quincy when you need him, at least he can’t die…MOM, you have the brave trait, move your butt!”

Sheogorath: “But I like birthday fire. *happy thought-bubble*”

Gatekeeper: “DAMMIT WOMAN PUT IT OUT.”

Luckily three out of five Personalitys have the brave trait at this point, so fires are nothing. I barely have to lift a finger.

Firefighter: “Oh, gosh, you put that fire out yourself. Guess my services aren’t needed…”

Firefighter: “So don’t mind if I join the PARTAY!”

Quincy: “Considering we’re both pretty sure he had something to do with that birthday cake exploding, WHY are we still letting him hang around our house?”

Gatekeeper: “Just ignore him, he feeds on negative attention.”

Mortimer: “This birthday cake is delicious.” >:)

Harley Quinn: “Alas, my eyeballs burned away in the fire!”

AAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Harley Quinn: “My eyes are closed, they could still be gone for all you know.”

They’re not, though. That was just my game being briefly nightmarish.

Here’s teenage Harley Quinn, with her new Loner trait. Which brings it to Vegetarian, Loves the Outdoors, Loner, Angler so far. Pretty solid set, if you ask me.

Like her father before her, Sheogorath retires in the garden. No more Mad Scientist Sheo. She has to work finishing the Gardening challenges, and maybe (since she has so much extra time now) even try for the Athletic challenges. We’ll see.

Sheogorath: “And BAM. Just when you thought I was running out of tricks…”

Sheogorath: “…I turn the awesome up to eleven. BAHAHAHA!”

Her first trip on The Beast takes her to, where else, the bar. Sheo will never retire from being a boss.

Quincy: “Hey everyone, hope you’re not sick of cake, ’cause it’s my little girl’s birthday!”

Everyone: “UUUGGGGH.”

Ditto: “Me and my new brave trait want to visit a graveyard!”

Ditto: “Ah, the children of the night make such beautiful music. And so do all my dead relatives!”

After rolling that little gem of a first want, she coughed up a LTW suggestion right away; Become the Emperor of Evil.

Of course I took it, I jumped on that like it was made of diamonds

Quincy: “Um, there’s no one driving the cop car. I’m a little concerned.”

Quincy was briefly in the criminal career, because why the hell not, but when this happened three times in a row I called it quits before he reached level five. He clearly is just not cut from a ‘bad guy’ cloth, despite his heritage.

I do hate to delay points though. *twitches*

He moved to the cop career after this, because the police force totally lets in convicted criminals.

Jolene: “Hey, you haven’t forgotten about me have you?”

Jolene Lipscomb everybody! The OTHER bastard daughter of Mortimer. Her mom is still our main paparazzi, which is a little awkward.

She closely resembles her father, which is interesting. The two ghost children look exactly like their ghost-fathers, but the human child looks like her human mother. Pretty nifty.

Harley Quinn: “Little sis, you gotta tell me. Does…does our father love you more because you look like him?”

Jolene: “What, are you joking? Mortimer lost interest in me when Mom refused to name me ‘Cassandra.’ He doesn’t even live with us, he’d rather stay in that crappy shack.”

/True Story

Ditto: “So you see, since I was BORN dead, it only makes sense that I’d be a restless and vengeful spirit.”

Gatekeeper: “I guess, but don’t wreak too much havoc, OK? I’d hate to have to vacuum up my own daughter.”

Ditto: “Mmm. Maybe I should wait ’til after you’re dead to take over…”

Sheogorath: “‘Today you will recognize the damage your alienating behaviour has done to someone close to you, possibly a spouse or a child, and finally realize that other people don’t exist solely as pawns for your amusement.

….’”

Sheogorath: “BAHAHAHAHAHA AS IF!”

Gatekeeper: “Our lives are going so fast now, I feel like we have no time for each other any more. It’s nice to have a few spare moments together.”

Quincy: “I agree. But, er, Gatekeeper…?”

Quincy: “Do we really have to have our spare moment next to a giant pile of dirty laundry? In our…backyard?”

Gatekeeper: “I really need to fire that maid.”

Sheogorath: “Oh, how wonderful! The silly little mortals have to do homework while I can play video games! Gods can do whatever they like, you know.“

Harley Quinn: “Grandma, that isn’t helpful.”

Harley Quinn: “Ditto, what’s the name of that one picture? The one with the lady who’s kind of smiling but not really?”

Ditto: “The Mona Lisa, you twit. It’s only the most ubiquitous painting of all time.”

Harley Quinn: “‘Ubiquitous?’”

Ditto: “And done! Now me and Grandma are going to go play video games without you. Aren’t we Grandma?”

Sheogorath: “Yes.”

Harley Quinn: “But what does ubiquitous mean?”

Mackenzie: “Oh Kirk, my cousin, my love! My non-beating-heart breaks for you!”

Kirk died of old age, but Mackenzie is still a young adult. Guess that means she’ll be around for awhile. SWEET.

In case you haven’t noticed from the people on our lot, it’s a birthday. Quincy’s birthday, to be precise.

Mortimer: “What the hell were you thinking, marrying my brother?! Personality women don’t swing far with their rebounds, is that it?!”

Gatekeeper: “It was not a rebound, you ass. Take your jealousy to the tabs, if you’re not afraid of knocking one of them up again.”

Quincy: (offscreen) “Happy birthday to me…?”

You may notice that Green-Stripe is sitting on a haunted couch. But Green-Stripe doesn’t care.

Green-Stripe only cares what’s for dinner.

That or my town is entirely too used to this sort of thing.

Mortimer: “Oh no, they’re BOTH here.”

Jolene just became a teenager, and has awesome flowing long hair like a ghost should.

Quincy: “My…my brother is cheering for me?”

I think he just wants to dissuade his daughters from speaking with him.

Green-Stripe: “*Choke* I knew I shouldn’t have come to a Personality birthday!”

You should have taken our ghosts more seriously.

Ditto: “Ew, gross. Somebody get a dust-pan.”

Unlike all the people who die of old age at our parties, THIS probably counts as ‘death by neglect.’ Even though I can’t set out blood for him and no one was stopping him from getting some from the fridge. But I take the point loss with dignity.

*twiiiitch*

Green-Stripe: “Holy Hell, I’m OK with dying if I get to look like this for eternity!”

Quincy: “And here I am PINK for all time. Some ghosts get all the luck.”

Mackenzie: “Now that he mentions it, I AM pretty hungry…”

Gatekeeper: “That’s it, party’s over. I’m not breaking out the dustpan twice.”

Gatekeeper: “I just want you to know, in spite of your oldness and your saggyness and your general Quincyness, I still love you.”

Quincy: “Cool. So guess who just joined the firefighter career?”

Gatekeeper: “What? No way!”

Quincy: “Uh, way!”

Gatekeeper: “Take me now, you big pink stud!”

Quincy: “‘Til next time, my friends.”

(Current Score: 58)

“Oh my, are those grapes for me? How thoughtful!”

I just realized these statues are Sims 1 sims. Awesome! And hey, now I don’t have to think of a proper intro!

Last time, Ditto Personality was born, but only just barely introduced. Her traits are mean-spirited and couch potato, which sounds like a recipe for disaster if you ask me. Oh, we’ll be having fun with this little one.

Her favourite food is Stu Surprise. I tend to remember their favorite foods since that’s all they eat, but colour and music doesn’t have much game-play significance in my play-style. So from now on I may just tell you that. We’ll see.

On an unrelated note, that is my favourite picture of Quincy.

As usual, Serge comes to care for the baby like a homing missile.

He’s also taken over care of the omni plants, now that both Cheez Whiz and Ebenezer are gone. He and Sheogorath work together on the garden every day, which means it gets done faster and both of them are well on their way to completing the gardening challenges.

The omni-plants, in case you’re wondering, bring in about 20k every time they bloom, which is frequently.

Oh look, it’s somebodies birthday!

Harley Quinn’s birthday, of course!

I tried to make a more interesting cake-shot. The result was derp faces. Remind me why I still take birthday pictures?

Her new trait is Angler.

Mortimer: “Ah, so this is my ‘daughter,’ is it? How convenient that she looks nothing like me.”

Look at that raised eyebrow, what a dick. Oh, and it gets better. Harley Quinn’s only interaction with her birth-father here?

Try to Impress Celebrity.

Try. To IMPRESS. Celebrity.

Guys, I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.

Mortimer: “Yes, I’m far too important to talk to you. Mortimer Goth and all.”

Harley Quinn:

Gatekeeper: “Oh, HELL no.”

Mortimer: “Gatekeeper, thank goodness you’re here! You’ve got to help me, my house is haunted!”

Gatekeeper: “You don’t say.”

Gatekeeper: “Let me just take care of that for you.”

Mortimer: “NOOOOOOOO! I’M MEEEEELTIIIIIIING!”

Glad that’s taken care of.

There are four generations of Personality women in this picture. If Culta had been haunting it would have been a real party.

Sheogorath: “Cake shot still isn’t interesting.”

Ditto: “Hm? What is this?”

Harley Quinn: “PEEK-A-BOO!”

Ditto: “Ohmygawsh, I didn’t see that one coming!”

This interaction was directed by M. Night Shyamalan.

So I just realized I have no good pictures of toddler Ditto, because I am a horrible simmer and a failure. This one at least has a clear view of her face, if you click on it for a better look.

So far she looks everything like Quincy, as much as one can see a ghost’s face. Interesting.

We also learn that Harley Quinn, like her mother, has the hidden French Culture trait, since she knows French songs without having to be taught them.  Double interesting!

Sheogorath: “Hmmmm.”

Sheogorath: “Oooooooh.”

Sheogorath: “*blink* *blink*”

Serge: “*GASP* Oh no! Maid! ‘ow could you not alert me my wife was dying?!”

Maid: “Bro, this house is covered in ghosts, and you expect me to keep track?!”

Gatekeeper: “NOOO NOW SHE’LL NEVER LEARN TO LOVE MEEEEE.”

Grim: “Cheesus, lady, indoor voice!”

Sheogorath: “Why is everyone standing around crying?”

Grim: “All right Grim, like we’ve been practising…”

Grim: “They cry because YOU. SHEOGORATH. YOUR TIME HAS COME.”

Sheogorath: “Is that all? Never fear, good people, the Grim Reaper is one easily bought mother–”

Grim: “Shut yo mouth!”

Sheogorath: “I’m just giving you a Deathflower!”

Grim: “Then I can dig it!”

Sheogorath: “TA-DA!”

You’ve cost me a point with that little trick, Sheogorath. I am not amused.

STOP THAT. I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT THIS.

On that note, I decided to throw out our Deathplant.

I know, I’m going to regret it later when it comes to gardening challenges. But it’s getting too hard to keep track of who has its produce, and I can’t risk losing any more points this way. Not to mention having my house clogged with ancient elders. So it goes.

Thanks a lot, lady. If you’d just moved over a few feet you could have at least watered our plants.

This is a paparazzi, by the way. Hope it was worth getting the latest scoop on the Personality family (“THEY GARDEN; News at Eleven!”)

Serge completed all the gardening challenges very quickly (I think it was his green thumb trait that did it), meaning POINT. 

Also, way back when he finished his LTW I forgot that he also had over 100k LTH, because as we have already established, I suck. So there’s a late POINT from Serge.

It amuses me that wherever Quincy goes, coward sims drop like flies. There are a lot of cowards in Sunset Valley.

My, we are jumping around a lot this chapter.

Then Sheogorath and Gatekeeper both got ‘save-the-world’ type opportunities at the same time. The Organization had gotten hold of some science and were using it for evil (which Sheo had to stop), and ghosts had taken over City Hall and were declaring themselves the new world leaders (which Gatekeeper had to to stop). There was even a big black cloud over town when this happened.

Awesome!

(They both saved the day, obviously)

SO. Gatekeeper reached the top of the Ghost-Hunting career (POINT), which also happened to be her LTW (POINT) and consequently gave her over 100k LTH (POINT).

Gatekeeper: “Yeah, I’m pretty much amazing at this whole legacy thing.”

She really is!

And now she’s going to keep the Ghost-Hunting job for the stipend every week (free money? Yes please), but will only actually ghost-hunt if I feel like it. She has more productive things to do.

Like learning tons of recipes, and getting us one step closer to finishing the cooking challenges.

LEGACY TIP: Cooking and Painting challenges are easy. Aaroc’s rules make it so you can do challenges any number of times as long as it’s by different sims, so they are great ones to fall back on if your sim is lacking something to do. Given the choice between them, painting is easier, as it needs less micro-management.

But having a good cook in the family ensures everyone eats their favourite food, which gives them a moodlet. When their mood bar is full, sims skill faster, so get all the easy moodlets you can!

/advice from a crappy simmer.

Gatekeeper: “WOO, FRIDGE! YEAH! YOU ROCK THOSE STINK CLOUDS!”

Look, a birthday without a cake shot! Be proud of me. Serge rolled the want to give her a birthday party, but I put my foot down.

Which I promptly felt really bad about.

(Yes, these two pictures ARE seconds apart. Can you believe my luck? *sob*)

Grim: “Man, does a day go by where someone DOESN’T die in this house?”

Sheogorath: “Shut it, Grim. We pay your salary.”

Serge: “It iz okay, because I have ze deazflower, yes? …Yes?”

Sheogorath: “;_;”

OH for…I thought we got rid of you?!

Mortimer: “I cannot be so easily destroyed. Anyway, I just wanted to pop in to say I think this is fantastic.”

Grim: “Oh my gosh, is that MORTIMER GOTH?”

Grim: “I’m, like, his biggest fan!!”

And now I’ve lost the will to write.

But wait! There is one more thing!

Since it’s the Holiday Season, I wanted to give you guys something. I can’t put together a Christmas special since I’ve played way past this point, so instead I’ve set up a Personality Downloads page. It’s not much to look at, but you can download sims from this Legacy for your own game if you like. If you don’t want to, then er…it’s the thought that counts I guess?

I’ll put up more sims for download as I nab their savefiles. If you’d like me to nab anyone in particular, I’ll see what I can do!

So that’s it for today!

(Current Score: 59)

So, in the second trimester Gatekeeper announced her pregnancy to Mortimer Goth, the father. He didn’t take it well, and they broke up shortly afterword.

Mortimer, because he had slept with Gatekeeper (a four-star celebrity), was a celebrity himself. Susannah Lipscomb was our most active paparazzi at the time of Harley Quinn’s conception.

Harley Quinn, who was born a day after Mortimer and Gatekeeper’s breakup, spent three days as a sim baby, and then had her toddler birthday party. Susannah showed up to photograph said party in the third trimester of pregnancy.

MEANWHILE, she was grieving for a spouse/boyfriend who had died recently. Sims grieve for dead significant others for two days. Sim pregnancies last three.

Susannah then, on the night of Harley Quinn’s birthday, gave birth to a little blue baby named Jolene Lipscomb. The family-tree check was conclusive; Mortimer is the father, and Jolene is Harley Quinn’s half-sister.

MEANING:

In less than a sim-week, Mortimer Goth impregnated Gatekeeper, refused to take responsibility for the baby, and then missed the birth of his firstborn child because he was too busy misusing his celebrity and knocking up an emotionally compromised fan ON THAT SAME NIGHT. Yes, he moved on in less than twenty four hours by having an AFFAIR with a PROFESSIONAL STALKER whose husband was on his DEATHBED.

The final verdict?

Phoenix Wright: “MORTIMER GOTH IS AN ASSSSHOOOOOOOOOLE!!!”

And that’s leaving aside all the nonsense about running away when Gatekeeper came to visit, refusing the birthday invitation, and giving his ghost-genes to NOT Harley Quinn. Y’know, Bella gets a bad rap in the Sims fandom. Aliens and all. But once in awhile, let us all stop and remember that she is but one half of a perfect whole.

A perfect ass-whole.

*ba-dum-tish*

Luckily, we have Quincy.

“Yay, you’ve remembered my traits!”

Quincy Goth is an insane, virtuoso, ambitious, friendly and brave sim. There, now you know!

Also, you may have been thinking ‘Hey, that birthday party didn’t have any death in it at all! The curse is over!’ If so, you were thinking wrong.

Say hi to Leanne French, also known as Leslie’s kid. She died of old age in our pool, briefly learning to walk on water in the process. Just forgot to put that in the last chapter. It just wouldn’t be a Personality birthday without sobbing and heartbreak!

NOW….

Let’s try this again, shall we?

Quincy: “OK, you’ve broken me down. You know I can’t say no to you twice.”

Gatekeeper: “SWEET!”

Quincy: “I’m getting married today, so I’d like a tattoo to show my wife-to-be I love her?”

Tattooist: “Making two permanent decisions in one day? Seems legit.”

Quincy: “Wow, I’m going to be like, a walking work of art, huh?”

Tattooist: “More floating work of art, really.”

Quincy: “Wait, I thought I wanted this thing on my chest?”

Tattooist: “Yeah, and?”

Quincy: “I’m so confused.”

Quincy: “Oh right, I don’t have skin. I feel a bit silly now.”

It’s not visible in his ghost-form, but I actually got him a giant red heart right across his chest. It’s his secret hilarious tattoo, given for the sole purpose of making me chuckle whenever I remember that it’s there, secretly. And hilariously.

Wedding time. In the graveyard, because it just felt right somehow. Displaying an uncharacteristic amount of effort, I actually designed Gatekeeper a new outfit for the occasion.

I particularly like the back.

Gatekeeper: “Woah, your eyebrows just leapt off your face. This must be important.”

Quincy: “Heh.”

Serge holds in his tears like a man. Really obviously and with more difficulty than it’s worth.

Dixie: “…”

Aw, I love when the parents get front row seats, so to speak. They look like they’re holding hands!

Serge: “Can you believe our little girl iz actually married? ‘Ow ze time flies!”

Sheogorath: “Is that what just happened? I wondered why all these people were just standing around.”

Serge: “Mon amour, zat’s why we both got dressed up! For ze wedding!”

Sheogorath: “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I always dress like this. *sips the drink that tastes like DEFIANCE*”

I renovated the murder-shack again into a little private oasis for our newly-weds. Hey, waste not…

Gatekeeper: “So, ready to lose your virginity one hundred years overdue?”

Quincy: “Would you judge me if I said YES.”

(With that hair, I could make connections)

And a Quincy portrait is promptly added to the Personality canon; POINT.

Sheogorath: “That’s right! Money is the most important thing!”

Sheogorath: “Make sure to tell the world about it in your memoirs. Now, which little baby has earned a daiquiri?”

Stop trolling, Sheo.

Sheogorath: “Never!!”

Harley Quinn has been TSALing off-screen. Not much to say about her toddlerhood; she skills at a meh pace, which is disappointing considering her pedigree. Gatekeeper DEVOURED the TSAL, and isn’t Mortimer supposed to be some revolutionary scientific genius?

She learned everything she was supposed to anyway, just none of it was picture worthy.

Gatekeeper: “Heh. Looks like you’re going to be a big sister soon, Harley Quinn.”

Harley Quinn: “Dun’ care, bottah.”

I think I took this picture just to give you a wider view of the murder-shack. Adorable baby-bump and brave pregnant woman in a swimsuit is just a bonus.

Gatekeeper: “Think this one’s a ghost-baby, Quincy?”

Quincy: “Hmm, well I DO hear some chains rattling in there…”

Parents WANTING their child born dead? Only in The Sims, man.

Gatekeeper: “Doo de doo, off to have my second-born, doo de doo…”

Gatekeeper: “That was a lot easier the second time around.”

GEE I WONDER WHY.

It’s another girl, folks! Meaning we have sisters for the first time ever in this Legacy! Hurrah!

Ah, but what to call this little pink blob. Hmmmmmm….

Hmmm.

Hm.

Perfect!

(Current Score: 55)

(cookies for anyone who understands the chapter title XD)

FINE. I GUESS I’LL WRITE THEN.

First let’s clear out some stuff that hasn’t fit anywhere in the last few updates. To begin with:

My boyfriend spruced up the spare graveyard for me and made it into a spare tomb. It has an underground cavern with a hidden door and everything. No, it doesn’t stop the ghosts from escaping and running amuck about town and yes, townies still think this is the coolest spot to hang out.

Some interior shots.

Spares, and spouses and children of spares go in here. Luckily we don’t have much in the way of an extended family, seeing as only Chandler has bothered to breed so far.

On the point-gaining front:

Serge completed a portrait of Gatekeeper, meaning POINT, and…

The last two computers I needed to go kaput for Sheogorath’s final handiness challenge went out at the same time…

…meaning POINT.

Just ignore Sheo’s sadface, she’s thrilled.

Sheogorath: “…and then I finished a handiness challenge and my toes didn’t even tingle.”

Ebenezer: “Aw, little sis. Would it make you feel better to throw balls at my…I mean, play catch?’”

Sheogorath: “Sniff…yes.”

Sheogorath: “This is really helping , Mortal Brother! I think it may be my favorite stage of grief so far!”

*SMACK*

Ebenezer: “…anytime.”

Since Cheez is gone, I’m grooming Gatekeeper to be the new family cook in addition to her logic skilling. My approach (if you haven’t noticed) is to have every sim attempt two separate skill challenges, plus their LTW, LTH and portraits. Five points minimum per sim. Gatekeeper needed a second skill challenge, so Cheez’s death was just good timing, really.

Less good timing:

Ebenezer: “Anyone smell something funky?”

Serge: “Oh mon Dieu.”

Yeah, Ebenezer died two days after his father. Does that give you any sense of how freaking old Cheez was?

Eb never did get married, but I guess he had little time. Poor Dixie.

Sheogorath: “Whose face am I going to throw balls at now?!“

Grim: “Woah, do I even want to know?”

In other news, Ebenezer is our first spare with a golden urn. Accomplishment!

LATER:

Quincy: “I haven’t been to this beach in years! It looks…exactly the same. That’s sort of creepy. I suppose it’s a little late to start working on my tan, but thanks for bringing me.”

Gatekeeper: “You’re pink enough as it is. Listen…”

Gatekeeper: “I actually wanted to talk to you about something.”

Quincy: “Oh, OK. What is it you need?”

Quincy: “Woah, your eyebrows just leapt off your face. This must be important.”

Gatekeeper: “I’ve been thinking a lot about what happened with Uncle Ebenezer and our maid. He didn’t get to be with the one he loved because he waited too long, and I don’t want that to happen to me.”

Quincy: “It won’t happen to you–”

Gatekeeper: “Be quiet for a sec, I’m tryna do something here…”

Gatekeeper: “Ok, don’t freak out.”

Quincy: “You’re not making that easy on me…”

Quincy: “OH. Um, no.”

Gatekeeper: “But why not?!”

Quincy: “Because I don’t think you’re asking for the right reasons? I’m not against the idea, just not right now, OK?”

Gatekeeper: “…OK.”

Meanwhile, Dixie stuffs herself full of ice cream instead of doing any actual cleaning. I don’t really mind but, at that rate why not just take some time off? No need to put on a brave face.

Carol: “Gawd, all this drama. Why won’t anyone THINK OF THE CHILDREN?”

Oh yeah, Harley Quinn. Sorry, sims are basically non-entities when they’re babies.

Gatekeeper: “YEAAH, WOO, GO SWEETY. IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY.”

Cowardly Vampire: “Why do you always invite me to these things when you KNOW your house is full of ghosts?!”

Hey look, our paparazzi is pregnant.

This is Susannah Lipscomb, she’s been stalking us and taking pictures for quite a few years now. You can see her in the backgrounds of some of our pictures. I didn’t know paparazzi were vulnerable to story progression, though.

Aw, her baby-daddy must have died. How sad.

And look who finally showed up.

Mortimer: “Fashionably late, of course.”

Actually Serge had to call him over separately, since he didn’t respond to the actual birthday party invite. For his OWN KID.

Speaking of said child!

Harley Quinn everyone!

Not much of Mortimer in there, weirdly enough. Other legacies make it seem like he has very strong genetics, but she seems to have Gatekeeper’s face.

Now, her hair is interesting. You’d think two black-haired sims would make a black-haired baby, but nope. It’s mostly auburn, but according to the colour wheel she also has very light natural purple highlights. DUDE. AWESOME.

Her favourite colour is sea foam, her favourite food is autumn salad, and her favourite music is whatever, I’m amazed I remembered the other two.

Culta, this is a toddler’s birthday party. Get your head out of your ass.

(Yes, she mixed all of those herself. Yes, she then stayed out all night drinking them. My sims are so family-friendly)

Townie: “Hey, you rock that ghost-hunting! Single-mom POWAH!”

Ghost: “I don’t think I want to haunt here anymore anyway.”

Gatekeeper: “Good call.”

Gatekeeper: “Ugh, whatever demon made these walls mustard yellow MUST be stopped.”

Gatekeeper: “UNCLE EB GET OFF MY GHOST-RADAR, GAWD.”

Mayor: “Thanks for protecting our fair town from ghosts, and whatever. Have a single balloon as payment.”

*half-hearted cheering and clapping*

Vampire: “YEAH! WHO NEEDS THOSE DISGUSTING UNDEAD?”

So there was less of a turnout for this than the “you are an awesome decorator” reward Serge got. Sunset Valley, it has priorities.

Ah, well it’s good to see Harley Quinn inherited some ghostly abilities despite not being a ghost-baby. Yes, good, and not disturbing at all.

Sheogorath: “Fool mortal! Have you not noticed there is spawn currently coming out of you?! This is no time for flash photography!“

Susannah: “What are you talking about, it’s always time for flash photography! In your yard, at your parties, in your shower…”

Susannah: “Oh my gosh Mrs. Personality, you were right! The baby is coming!”

Sheogorath: “Great. And I suppose I’m going to have to drive you to the hospital, aren’t I?”

Susannah: “Thanks a lot for the help, Mrs. Personality!”

Sheogorath: “Tell anyone and I will end you.”

Um, Mortimer, what are you doing here?

Mortimer: “You’ll see.”

OH FOR THE LOVE OF–

(Current Score: 54)

Cheez Whiz: “I guess I’m ready to go. I lived to see my great-grandkids, which is more than a lot of legacy sims can say!”

I couldn’t resist. Go read the Chim-Chim-Cheree Rainbowcy, and anything else by Mariah. Her work is fantastic.

And while we’re here being stupid, let’s update the ole’ Random Artsy Crap. Presenting the Mosaic of Gatekeeper!

1. First Name: Gatekeeper (apparently Gatekeeper is a type of butterfly :3)2. Favorite Food: Grilled Cheese

   3. Favorite Color: Irish Green

   4. Favorite Weather: Foggy (you’d have to like fog to enjoy the ghosthunter career, I think)

   5. Favorite Music: Classical

   6. Favorite thing to do on a Saturday night: Admire self (seriously, the snob trait is not kidding around. If you want your snob sim to get anything done, delete all mirrors)

   7. One of the things I love most in the world: The Paranormal

   8. One of my hobbies: Cooking

   9. Favorite way to flirt: Necrophilia (aha, yeah, ok, I didn’t actually search ‘necrophilia.’ Just ‘death.’ There are some parts of the internet I don’t want to see)

   10. Favorite element: Mist

   11. One word that describes me: Ghostbuster

   12. Something Else: Relationship Troubles

    

   (I did not make nor do I own any of the pictures in the mosaic, or the pic of Cocaine. I’m not making any money by using them)

…

..

.

…

“Your wife was a whore.”

…

…

..

.

Ah, Generation Four, how I loved you. Everything was Gatekeeper and nothing hurt.

ANYWAY.

Quincy: “I can’t believe him! Just…walking away when you were standing right there with his baby! The gall! The insensitivity!”

Gatekeeper: “He more floated away, really. And your righteous indignation is very sweet, but it’s a little hard to breathe with a throat full of ectoplasm.”

Since Quincy seems to be sticking around, I should really tell you his traits and such. I should, but I’m not going to, because I don’t have them written down at the moment. LOL I are teh n00b.

His LTW, though, is to be a Jack of all Trades, which means he wants to get to level 5 of four different careers. Sounds easy enough. But what kind of dream is that? When I grow up, I want to be mediocre at all the things!

Quincy: “You obviously are not familiar with my childhood.”

He also helps with the omni-plant maintenance.

Quincy: “Excuse me, Mrs. Murderer? How come you haunt, like, all the time? Isn’t that against dead-person-rules?”

Carol: “Screw you, you couldn’t figure out how to go through a wall.“

Cheez Whiz: “Anyone else smell something funky?”

Cheez Whiz: “Aww, not this again.”

Grim: “So, Cheez. You got a death flower for me this time?”

Cheez Whiz: “As a matter of fact I don’t.”

Grim: “Well, then.”

Cheez Whiz: “Yep.”

Cheez Whiz: “I guess I’m ready to go. I lived to see my great-grandkids, which is more than a lot of legacy sims can say!”

Sheogorath: “NO MORTAL FATHER. DON’T DO IT. DON’T LOOK INTO THE LIGHT.”

Grim: “Rude.”

Carol: “OH MY GOD, he just dove into Death’s pants…”

“…but not mine?!”

*various expressions of mourning*

Grim: “Whatevs. I’mma go make a sandwich.”

.:Obituary:.

Saying Cheez Whiz died of old age is like saying the sea witch Ursula died of a splinter. Dude was old. But in all those years he mastered cooking and gardening, dabbled in Kung Fu, and finally brought us the omniplants. He also fathered two children, Ebenezer and Sheogorath, with his wife Carol. Despite his insane trait, he was a hard-working, agreeable sim and it hardly feels like the Personalitys without him.

We’ll miss you, Cheez!

Sheogorath: “Grim, you gotta stop hanging out in our house after you kill somebody. You have to leave now.”

Grim: “Well can I just finish my sandwich?”

Sheogorath: “No.“

Grim: “You are such a big ugly blue beast sometimes, Sheo!”

Sheogorath: “You kiss your mother with that mouth?!“

Believe it or not, Ebenezer and Sheogorath are actually friends. So it’s no surprise they wanted to get together after their father’s death.

Ebenezer is not married yet, but I gave him a very nice house on the other side of town. We’ll see what happens.

Quincy: “Hey, so…how are you dealing with…you know, what happened?”

Gatekeeper: “What, you mean the death of one of two people who ever loved me?”

Gatekeeper: “I’m dealing with it just fine.”

*psycho smile*

Quincy: “Come on now, I KNOW you’re not fine. You haven’t been having the best time lately, and I want to know how I can help.”

Gatekeeper: “Look, Quincy…”

Quincy: “No, listen.”

Quincy: “I’m your friend. You can talk to me about stuff.”

Quincy: “I really mean it. I want to be a good uncle to Harley Quinn, and part of that is taking care of you. And anyway, I’m dead. I can tell you right now your grandpa is probably sipping tequila with the hula zombies.”

Hula Zombies: *giggle*

Gatekeeper: “I’ve said this before, but you’re a really nice guy, Quincy.”

Quincy: “Thanks.”

Gatekeeper: “Weird that anyone would want to murder you.”

Quincy: “You know, that’s what I said!”

Quincy: “So yeah, if you ever need anything…”

Quincy: “…you can always count on–”

…!

Gatekeeper: “So I appear to have just kissed you. If you haven’t noticed, I sort of rush into these things, so just me know if you’d rather not…I mean I had your brothers kid and all…”

Quincy: “Why would that matter?”

Gatekeeper: “…I guess it doesn’t.”

And that is where I leave you for today! People are awake, so I’m off to play Skyrim. *toddles off*

Current Score: 52