Down South

So since last time, I had a birthday (awesome) and realized my upcoming schedule is going to be a pain in the ass (not so awesome). In re to the latter, I’ve spent the last month smashing my head against the keyboard, hence no new chapter. But you don’t want to hear about my personal problems. You want to hear about Ditto’s personal problems.

Harley Quinn: “So um…is he just going to continue living with us, or…?”

Ditto: “Inujade says he made himself too valuable as a cash-cow to let go.”

Harley Quinn: “And you’re just going to take that?”

Ditto: “I’m not ‘taking’ anything. I’m fine with it. Just FINE.”

Ditto: “Hey, Da Vinci! I got a *hic* bone to pick with you…”

Boo: “Oh, for the love of Wright…”

Ditto: “You think you’re really something, don’t you? You think you can just use lady sims as a means to LTH points. Well, you’re WRONG! Lady sims have just as much complicated programming as you, buster!”

Boo: “Drinking at this time of day, Ditto?”

Ditto: “*hic* SCREW YOU. I’m drunk as hell at 11 a.m., and I’m still less pathetic than you. Go woohoo a llama, Goopy.”

Boo: “Hmph. I feel like I already have woohoo’ed a llama.”

So as you can see, the situation is pretty nasty.

Luckily, some men in this house still know what romance is.

Edi: “Symbolic tokens of affection! How sweet, Mister Personality. I feel most fortunate that, rather than anything untoward, we both rolled LTW’s for huge gobs of money.”

Joker: “They call that compatibility, sweetheart.”

Joker: “Hey man, sorry about what happened between your parents.”

Drake: “Um…I’m just annoyed he still lives here.” /doesnotgiveasingledamn

But still live here he does, because he is freaking talented. Boo completes the painting challenges in record time and with very little effort, and makes a ton of money in the meantime. POINT.

He honestly produces more masterpieces than any sim I’ve had, and I like to see what he comes up with.

Boo: “Sigh…roam free, creation of mine. Live the life of adventure I never could…”

But don’t think Ditto is slacking. She’s still clawing her way up the criminal career. Plus, she’s buff as hell. Methinks she uses rage as a motivator.

Ditto: “Also, he’ll have to look at my extreme hotness and weep for his sins.”

Oh, if only that were true.

Siobhan: “Booooo, it’s Booooo! Fuck that guy!”

Boo: “So, Lana, you’re single, right?”

Lana: “Given the chorus of shame going on back there, do you honestly think I’m going to be receptive to this?”

Boo: “You’ve got me all wrong, Lana. I married far too young, to a dead woman who only cared for my body. I had a son I barely know. So many failed careers… Would you begrudge me for trying to be my own person, while I still can? I’m not a bad man. I’m just…I was just misled.”

Lana: “Boo, I had no idea. I guess the tabloids don’t really tell the whole story…”

Boo: “Will you be my girlfriend, then? Give this weary artist a muse?”

Lana: “Sure, Boo. I can do that for you.”

Paper Boy: “Right, I’m leaving before this gets ugly.”

Boo: “Ugh, you’re SMOTHERING me, woman! We just met, and it’s like you’re throwing yourself all over me!”

Lana: “But…But Boo, you asked me out! You said I could be your muse!”

Boo: “My muse? ….in those pants?”

Meanwhile, Harley Quinn takes some time out of her evening to finish off the ‘plant 19 different plants’ challenge, leaving only…

…grow such-and-such amount of perfect plants. Done! POINT!

Incidentally, she has also maxed out her gardening, fishing, and photography skill, so you know what that means…she’s completed her LTW to be a Renaissance Sim! POINT AGAIN! Which, naturally, sends her right over the edge of 100K LTH, which means a third POINT.

And in the same amount of time, Boo got himself a new girlfriend.

You know how this goes.

Boo: “You went out with me while I was still married! How can I date a woman with so little moral fibre?!”

Blondie: “What are you saying? I have moral fibre! I’m the Weetabix of morality!”

Boo: “I can never give you my full trust! And why are all you women wearing yoga pants?! They’re so tacky!”

*sigh* Three down.

Boo: “Hmmm, my necrophile senses are picking up on number four…”

NO NO NO AND NO. Find someone else.

Boo: “I’ve always thought I needed a more mature woman in my life.”

That’s better. And at this exact moment…

Edwin: “Hello. I’ve just been elected Leader of the Free World, which is the top of the political career track, so there’s a POINT. It also happens to be my LTW, so have a second POINT. And while we’re here, I just wanted you to know that I’ve achieved over 100k LTH, so consider that POINT THE THIRD. Thank you.”

AAAAAA so many new points this chapter! I…I want to NOM them! *rolls around in the new points*

Boo: “Hmph, nevermind, I don’t wan’t to date these.”

Old Lady: “What the fu–”

At which point my game conveniently decided to Error Code 12. But that’s OK, because I’d saved just a short half-hour of gameplay before. Not much to redo…just this woman and Edwin’s promotion.

Except then it happened again. And again.

Gnome: “Dagnabbit, this neighbourhood is even older than I am! It’s all full of junk files and lag! Kids today, they don’t move their legacies to new towns like they should, and then they wonder why the game takes fifteen minutes to save! It gets in my craw!”

Angel: “Quiet, old fool! The Personalitys have always been in Sunset, on this very lot! What you suggest is heresy!”

Gnome: “Heresy, shmeresy. The legacy can’t go on if we don’t adjust to the times!”

Finally, I was able to save after Edwin’s promotion, but only once; the problem still hadn’t really gone away. Besides the teeth-grating inability to save, the town is about as fast as a fish swimming through ice, and despite my efforts to keep it diverse and thriving, it continues to crumble into a white face 1 hell.

Harley Quinn and Edwin hardly notice my difficulties; they’ve both achieved their lifetime wants within a day of each other, and take no issue with ‘celebrating’ all over creation.

I mean, gosh, the family is just so happy here. I can’t think of an in-universe reason why they would move. Except…

Edwin: “Sweetheart, I think we have to go down south. I really want to stay in office, but living in a semi-tropical paradise surrounded by rich vampires isn’t the best thing for my ‘of the people’ image.'”

Harley Quinn: “Oh, er…OK, I guess?”

So that was that.

Yes, it’s the same house. I was cheated out of keeping the same lot, but damned if I’m going to give up this house my sims have built with generations of blood and sweat. I like to think President Edwin had a team of super-helicopters come and carry the thing out by its foundations. Tax dollars!

So he asked to move down south, and down south we went. Not all the way down to Twinbrook , despite my love for that town, but Appaloosa Plains. There’s slightly less hillbillies…culture shock, here.

And since we’re in Appaloosa, you know what that means!

PETS IS INSTALLED. Look at that majestic hunk of glue! GLORIOUS!

This is the part where I go ‘haha, now only six more updates ’til I’m caught up with all you Showtime people, OH HO HO’ but no. I haven’t bought Showtime, and I probably never will. It just doesn’t appeal to me.

Just for clarification, I’ve bought every single Sims expansion since the first game came out. But not this one. ‘Tis a sad day.

(On the other hand, my wonderful boyfriend got me a Supernatural pre-order for my birthday, and you bet your ass I’m getting Seasons, and I am mad excited for both. So all is well!)

Anyway, I’ve never been in Appaloosa before, so let’s check it out.

Edwin goes into town to connect with the common man, but finds a bunch of hot chicks instead.

Edwin: “Only when you’re happily married, man.”

Jaunita: “Ugh, I heard on the news you were coming to our town! I never voted for you, and I never will!”

Edwin: “Hmph, I don’t expect the likes of you to understand my platform!”

Juanita: “A light-sleeper in office…just disgusting!”

Edwin: “You heavy-sleepers can’t stay awake long enough to vote, anyhow!”

WAT

Heehee, she painted the Sims 1. And what a flattering interpretation of Bella Goth!

See, normally Pet expansions wind up being my least favourites. But last time around I complained that they should have put more animals other than dogs and cats, and what do you know, they listened. I knew as soon as I saw that stupid horse trot up in the trailer that I’d be getting this EP, and I don’t even like horses. The deer and the skunks and the snakes and all the rest were just icing on a cake I’d been asking for for years.

*sigh* Always be careful what you wish for, I suppose.

GET OUT OF MY GARDEN YOU MOTHERFU

That’s all for now.

Current Score: 72

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