Welcome back again! Sorry for the wait…it was my boyfriend’s birthday over the weekend and, well, I love him more than The Sims.
Sims: “But you’ve known us longer!!”
Hush, you cretins. Anyway, last week the Personalitys were in that lovely transition period known as ‘waiting around for the next generation to pop out.’ Legacy players know it well; it is a sweet time, filled with possibilities.
The popper in question is, of course, the stunningly gorgeous, and stunningly stupid, Maisy nee Miller. Ah, but do not think she’s talentless -witness her flipping pancakes through the air with ease. There’s absolutely no reason to be doing that, but it’s the showmanship of the thing.
Maisy: “Teehee! This is your favourite picture of me and you know it!”
Oh, Maisy, some of the pictures I have of you…how could I choose?
Anyway, the baby is still levelling, so we’ll leave her to it.
Meanwhile, her father-in-law Boo accomplished something I’d grown to think was impossible –he reached the top of a self-employment career. Painter, to be exact! Now, the amount of money the game expects you to raise towards promotions is freaking insane (as it is for all the self-employment careers), but Boo is now churning out three $700 works per day, because he is just. that. good.
Boo: “I’ve impressed myself YET AGAIN with my own brilliance!”
And so we get a POINT.
Now, I didn’t have another thing set up for Boo to do, and frankly, he’s worthless at just about everything else.
So I decide to have him tackle the Consignment Challenges. Now he takes his three daily paintings down to Cruz here for pawning off, and we make marginally more money than if we just sold them the old-fashioned way.
You can read about the Consignment Challenges here.
He doesn’t have a lot of time to do this, so I don’t allow him any distractions.
Distractions tend to show up anyway.
Alouette: “Boo, baby, you haven’t been calling. Why so cold?”
Boo: “You dumped me. And then went around my house smashing things. And told me never to call you.”
Alouette: “Yeah, I know, and you haven’t picked up the phone to beg for me back yet. Don’t you like me anymore?”
I’ve had nearly this exact conversation in real life.
Ditto and Drake are still plugging away at their respective challenges, which gives them quite a bit of bonding time. I like to think that Drake got his capacity for sketchy science from his Mom, but the more creative bent of it (inventing requires new ideas, after all) from his Dad.
When I can get him to focus, that is.
Drake: “Goodness, how did I get up here?”
I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned this, but I’m actually required to give all my legacy kids perfect pregnancies and childhoods. If I don’t, they might grow up with a locked trait, and then I’d lose one of my handicaps. The principle handicap, as it were.
Which is why even when they never roll for it, I force all my parents to read a pregnancy book. Do you think Maisy rolled for it? Go on, guess.
Maisy: “Gawd, this is like, so gross. My plumb-bob is going to look like Rocky Balboa’s face when this is over.”
Maisy: “Ugggh, I don’t WANT to skill! I want to sit in the hot tub!”
Well, you can’t, because EAxis likes to pretend miscarriage exists in the Sims. Pregnancy is a great learning opportunity for lady sims! Think of all the free time you have right now!
Maisy: “Nuts to that! I’m rolling wants for massages and that’s IT!”
I’m so weak.
Maisy: “Mmm, that’s better. I’d like the expensive one now.”
I clicked to the house to check on things, and when I clicked back I found Maisy had wandered off into town, and subsequently ran into her dad. They were doing this on their own.
It almost made it all worth it.
Edwin: “Well my dear, how was your day at the spa? Did you find it restful?”
Maisy: “Yeah, it totally cleared my mind, or whatever. So, like, now I know what I really want…”
Maisy: “Best. Pregnancy. Ever!”
It damn well better be! *weeps at all the lost simoleons*
Maisy: “Aw, but I can’t ride you right now Horsie. Gawd, I hope this ball drops soon.”
Horse: “I certainly hope that’s a New Years analogy you’re making.”
Horse: “My name is not ‘Horse,’ dickbag.”
Her name is actually Lady Grey Tea, because that’s what I was drinking at the time. Notice a theme yet?
Her traits are playful, agile, and fast, and her LTW is to be Maisy’s meal-ticket.
Lady Grey Tea: “Eh, long as I got hay.”
Maisy: “Mama, you jus’ GOTTA come an’ check out my horse! My horse is amazin’!”
Pedo-Bear: “Hellooo, any kids up there? Come on, I’ve been waiting for days, you gotta be at least crowning by now…”
Maisy: “What do you mean, where is the lemonade made?”
Maisy: “Ewww, I jus’ remembered…I’m married.” *shudders*
Lady Grey Tea: “That’s rough. Let me tell you, us horses don’t mess around with that monogamy crap. In fact, if I was pregnant…”
NOPE, this is a legacy, not the ‘traumatized-for-life’ special on Animal Planet.
Maisy: “That’s funny, I have the strangest urge to get up, even though it’s the middle of the night an’ I’m only half-rested.”
Drake: “So do I. What could this mean?”
Maisy: “Owww, this really REALLY hurts! Drake, make the baby cut it out!”
Drake: “CUT IT OUT?!”
Oh, go to the hospital already.
So the Appaloosa Plains hospital doubles as a science centre. Where Mad Scientists work.
I can only assume things went down like this:
*Sound of lightning*
*Sound of baby crying*
Doctor: “IT’S ALIIIIIIIIIVE!!”
“I’ve seen things. Things you would never understand.”
Now what does one name an adorable baby girl created in a science lab?
Little Sister, of course.
Her traits are Kleptomaniac (!!!) and Eccentric (aw, just like her daddy), and her favourites are hip hop, falafel and orange. And of course, the birth of Generation 7 gets us another POINT.
Maisy gets up the next morning with an uncharacteristic air of determination. Could she perhaps be gearing up for her first full day of motherhood?
Come on, let’s be real.
Maisy: “OMG, get with the times! There’s nothin’ wrong with being a workin’ mama!”
Lady Grey Tea: “Of course not, but working moms work. You just spent all morning tattooing a butterfly on my ass.”
Maisy: “…It’s pretty!”
Ha, now there’s an expression I recognize. I’ve been horseback riding, and that’s a very good sim approximation of my reaction. Nobody ever mentions this, but if you don’t know what you’re doing, horseback riding hurts like hell. In the butt region.
And I just realized that this happened only hours after she gave birth. YOWCH!
Hey, Boo, you do know your elder birthday hasn’t happened yet, right?
Boo: “My craft takes me to dark places sometimes. That sort of thing ages a man.”
Or it’s a glitch, whichever.
Ditto: “Nyeh nyeh nyeh, I’m Edwin, Leader of the Free World, and I STILL haven’t completed the cooking challenges! I’m tooo stupid.”
Boo: “Hahaha, that is so true!”
Edwin: “Man, everyone knows bullying is a sign of JEALOUSY.”
Maisy: “OK, this time I’ll do it right! No more butt-bruises for me!”
Context is everything.
Maisy: “Yay, I didn’t fall down! Hmm, but something still seems wrong…”
Wait, I’m confused, how did this happen?”
Side-Note: Maisy is in the self-employed jockey career. Yeah, THAT’LL get topped. *weeps*
I bought this model jet plane thing. It cost a pretty penny, but I have a theory.
Drake: “I can’t believe I get to do this!”
Only once, so savour it.
Drake: “This is going to rock!”
And it did. I just didn’t get a picture of it.
Wah wah waaaaaaah.
Anyway, my theory was that bigger objects create huge piles of scrap, so I exploded the largest buy-able item in the game, and collected the remains. This way, I instantly completed the ‘collect 1000 pieces of scrap’ challenge, which lets Drake off the hook for blowing things up –at least, for a little while.
I highly recommend blowing up the giant model airplane!
Maisy: “Oh shit–ummm…this is a skill boosting drink. I was jus’ gonna learn a new recipe for the cookin’ challenges.”
In the hot tub?
Maisy: “I like to be comfy when I read!”
Joker: “AAAAAAAA WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BEAUTIFUL HAAAAIIIR!”
Yikes, good question. Now everyone knows you have caterpillar eyebrows.
Don’t worry, I fixed it.
This is what the inside of their house looks like, by the way.
I don’t know why Diet Coke has stink fumes. What kind of cat lets itself get stinky?
Sometimes I worry about throwing my spares to story-progression, because the game might have them do something out of character. But I’ve been very lucky so far –the vanilla story-progression not only gave me the entire Weiner family, but I find these two doing this all over town, all the time, and it never ceases to be adorable. They are both completely in love with each other.
Shame our main couple isn’t so lucky.
Gatekeeper: “Hmph, well at least they have HALF a happy marriage.”
FOR THE HUNDREDTH TIME, NO.
Maisy: “Oh my Gawd, it’s a party! Everyone drinks at parties!”
This is a BIRTHDAY PARTY for YOUR BABY.
Maisy: “Tch, like THAT makes a difference.” *gazes off disinterestedly*
Now Edwin, like all seasoned Personality family members, is filled with unease at this moment. You never know who the Personality birthday curse is going to take next.
Sadly, we soon found out.
Harley Quinn: “Frankly, I thought I’d died ages ago.”
Yeah, okay…Harley Quinn has not been a great presence at the house for a long time. Mostly because she was hardly ever home. I’d had her move between all the fishing holes in town, desperately trying to complete the angler challenges. She didn’t, alas, but I tried, and that attempt basically made her invisible around here.
I actually feel pretty bad about that. She was an heir, and deserved better.
Despite being on the other side of town when it happened, Edwin seemed to just know. After caking Little Sister, I send him off to get Harley’s grave.
Harley Quinn was a quiet sim, who never bragged about her mastery of three different skills, or the fact that she was married to the president, or that her bio-father was a SimWorld celebrity. She was happy to garden and fish and read and just generally be in her own space. She wouldn’t have wanted anyone to make a fuss. She leaves behind a son, a daughter-in-law, and her husband.
*sniff* And stupid Mortimer is still alive!! *HONK*
Anyway, here’s what toddler Little Sister looks like. HA, she may as well have just burst fully-formed from Drake’s forehead, for all the Maisy that’s in her.
It ended up being a sombre birthday party, what with the death of a close family member and all. Er, for most of the family, that is.
Maisy: “Like, baby shampoo tastes pretty good!” *noms pigtail*
The next day Maisy decides she’s ready to test her skills, and rushes off to her very first race— wait, WHAT are you wearing?!
Maisy: “I thought of this great way to win over the judges. You remember that Paris Hilton ad with the car? Think that, but with a horse.”
Lady Grey Tea: “Call the police.”
Uuuuuugggghhhh…and on that note, I leave you for today.
Current Score: 91